How does life work? Why does life go the way it does? Is change a wonderful thing awaiting my attendance, or is it a time I will regret forever? When is it exactly that we become "in control" of our lives? I remember being a young child and just foaming at the mouth about being an adult... Then I would make MY own decisions. Now it is almost as though I have come full circle in life. Should my decisions be about me? Should I only consider my selfish wants at 43 after having several life altering events occur in the last few years? Questions are interesting. They make you think, but they also can make you think too much. Can you truly say you answer from a place of total objectiveness, or will you always put your own feelings in at some point and skew your results? Does life ever get easy? If it does, when would that be and what exactly is the issue that stops mine from being so? In my selfishness, I feel as though those who follow me are suffering and starting to lose faith in whether or not my word is good. I feel dirty. I feel wonderful. I don't really know what I feel. I am a man, I am a man, however, I am feeling like I an an ant. Mine is to serve the hill. I continue to hope my mind muddles through, and I hope it hurries. I am tired of making others wait on my scared behaviors. I am going to continue to post, and start again with more political and religious shit in the next few weeks. I have a few new ones I would love help with...lol
Rush has a wonderful lyric from a song called "Freewill" I have ALWAYS remembered and tried to follow, it goes:
"You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill."
HELP... I really need to be reminded to follow those words.
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